never have I ever

Some deejays (DJ's?) on the radio yesterday were encouraging people to call in and confess about things they have never done. Someone called in and said they had never ridden a bike. Someone else said they'd never had ketchup, or catsup either, for that matter. This opened the door for a bunch of calls about food people have never tried.

After the food topic was exhausted, a caller said she'd never texted, and that she still has a flip phone, much to the amusement of the deeJ's. DJays. This made me laugh. I have a Razor. And I don't text. I even block people from texting me because I have to pay for each text individually. Recently I was talking about my text-impairedness and a friend exclaimed, "Do you know how many times I've texted you and thought you were just ignoring me?"

I'm not rude. I'm just cheap.

But then! The next caller said he'd never had a DVR. Whoa. Again, this was true for me. We've never DVRed. Seriously, how is it possible we even survive without these essential necessities? That we can raise a family without DVR! That my children can grow and flourish in such conditions is truly quite astonishing.



I could probably expect a text from Child Protective Services any day. But I won't get it.