I saw a story on the news that said that kids that are popular in high school actually are primarily succesful adults. The reason is that these cool kids are cool for a reason: because they are hot, usually, or the most charismatic, or brilliant, or self-confident, or even, in these days, a contestant on a reality TV show.
So much for the adage grown-ups fed us when we were kids, crying in the backseat of the car, refusing to get out and go to school because we weren't popular enough for our liking. Remember, telling your mom you wished you would get asked out by The Basketball Star and she told you this, "You wait. You'll see, the popular guys have a hard time after high school. They go to college and are nobodys and it kills them. They go off the deep end, do drugs and die lonely. You don't want to date guys like that." Those popular girls that we weren't as pretty as: we were led to believe they would struggle in that Great Out There. Just wait.
It was comforting, this little lie that somehow got us out of the car and into homeroom before the tardy bell rang. But it's completely false. Most of the cool dudes I graduated with are pretty cool dads these days. Take Blake for instance. Always a stud, right, honey? And, seriously, I have yet to find a grown-up cheerqueen that withered. If facebook friend-collecting is a gauge, I'd say they were still just as popular post-graduation as ever.
Now, as a mid-thirty-ee, I realize adults also lied to my pubescent self about another thing: acne. Who in the world started the rumor that zits will only plague you until college? And how did such deception reach such massive proportions? Friends I've discussed this with say the same thing: how can I still have zits at my age?
Had we never heard the lie to begin with we wouldn't even care. It would just be one of those afflictions that we accept as mortal deficiencies, like hay fever or brain freezes. Because of the lie we wake up year after year, look in the mirror and wonder if THIS IS THE YEAR that the zits will leave us forever, because our moms told us at 16 we only had eh maybe four years at best of whitehead warfare.
No wonder we suffer mid-life crises.
10 comments:
Jenna you are hilarious. If it's any consolation it's true sometimes...the most popular girl in the class below me didn't graduate because she didn't have enough credits.
My mother told me a lot of things that would happen someday (something about me being a great decorator, cook, etc. once I had a home). Lies, all lies. But, to her credit, I think that she really thought that she was telling the truth.
That was Candice, by the way...I always come home and start commenting while logged in as my husband...like now for instance.
Hey Jenna,
You are funny.
In reference to your comment on my blog...I don't really fancy myself a writer but send me some more info and maybe I can come up with something that doesn't totally suck.
jenhirr@hotmail.com
Oh yeah. My mom told me "it" all starts to fall apart at age 35. I hope that's a lie.
How come I never remember seeing zits on my mom's face??? Is there really some magical age that they just disappear?
And at my high school, it just so happens that many of the most popular kids have gone off the deep end. Other than me, of course! ha ha.
THAT ZIT THING IS A LIE??!! Crud. Here I was thinking I still had them because I was such a baby-face, and that, either substance abuse or manual labor would finally age me out of them.
It's been my experience that, not only do the zits stay where they are, but they actually gain ground - seeing my back (and sometimes buttocks) as the pimple frontier. I try to pass them off as mosquito bites when wearing a bathing suit, but then I have to pretend to scratch them and that hurts.
I can always count on a good laugh at your blog and you always cheer me up! This post is hilarious. If it makes you feel any better, sista, I think it's unfair that I have started to worry about wrinkles when I still break out. Cruel joke of nature!
I just did a post in your honor on my blog. Take a peek when you have a minute. Let's get together again soon! Our pool will be warm enough in a few weeks, or we can come see you. Hope you're doing well. Love you!
Uh, sorry. I don't think you ever had zits in high school or even now. I need photographic documentation please.
As your father, I must say that I take great joy in the fact that I have perpetuated the lies that were passed on to me. You have finally seen the light, young Padawan, and come to the power of the Farce. I wondered how long it would be before you would realize that your face would not "stick" like that when you pulled a sour face, and that eating the crust does not have any effct on the curl in your hair. Alas, not everything worthwhile is worth waiting for and the best is not always saved for last place, but great joy can come from manipulating your children that way. However, some things hold true. Tomorrow is another day, the sun will come up tomorrow, and, as James Bond Said, "Tomorrow Never Dies." Just wait, tomorrow your kids will be telling their kids about the perveracations, falsehoods and out-right lies you handed down yourself. Final answer: Turnabout is fair play. May the Farce be with us all (and stand up straight or you will grow crooked... or, at leastm so I was taught).
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