Here Comes the Sun- It's All Right

Clouds dispersed suddenly and the sun came out. Pity party's over. For a fortnight (I've been reading Jane Austen) I have been muffintop-deep in the mires of self-pity. Nothing that anyone needs to be alarmed about, we are all healthy and well here at our house and Blake still has his job...as of today...

It was me that was laid off. Kind of. Well, that's how I felt about it in my most desolate moments. I have been serving as a leader of the girls in our church youth group for the past fourteen months, and now that experience has ended.

When my bishop asked me to serve with the Young Women I was unsettled. Teenagers made me edgy. Teenagers were bratty eye-rollers who I had to protect my preschoolers from when they shopping cart raced at WalMart or climbed McDonald's play equipment when management wasn't looking. I didn't even like the memory of myself as a teenager. I lowballed the probability of success in this calling from God: how could I relate to these babies born when I was applying for college? I listen to talk radio, I don't know how to text, and I can't upload music to my iPod. I felt a little out of touch with Generation...what are they at now, Y? or Z? But I decided to try.

Of course I had the best time! I learned to lead a discussion in front of a big group (of teenagers!) without getting poundyheart first. I learned to plan meaningful activities that began with gospel principals and ended with treats. I learned that teen girls will babysit for sugar. I learned to conduct planning meetings and delegate and be delegated to. I learned to turn a cardboard box into a car. I began to rely more than ever on my Heavenly Father for answers concerning problems our girls are facing, and knew He would help us as their leaders to overcome them. I learned to play guitar on Rock Band. I got a facebook account to make up for my lack of text-pertise.

Today's heart is as heavy as the one I had at the outset of this calling, but for completely different reasons. I once dreaded these girls- now I adore them. As naughty and stubborn as they sometimes were, as many times as I rolled my eyes at them, I couldn't help it, I fell in love with them.

We had a grand finale activity together, a slumber party, complete with massive sugar consumption, Beatles' Rock Band, the Hannah Montana movie, and a "morningside" the next day with renowned LDS speaker Brad Wilcox. Playing bass guitar to "Here Comes the Sun" with my favorite girl band(s) was therapeutic for my grief. I will always have a place in my heart, and on facebook, for these fun, funny, faithful girls!

And especially for the leaders that I got the privilege of serving with in this presidency. They will always always be special to me.

Change is sad. I hate changes, and being sad. But here comes the sun.

It's all right.