Besides the bearded, jolly fat stuff, did you know:

• that Santa is a Snowbird? Why hang out at the North Pole when Arizona is so pleasant this time of year. Besides, in this day and age, any problems at the workshop can be handled via video conferencing. Every weekend evening in December Santa and Mrs. Claus sit outside their Maricopa home and welcome the children. Isn't that the coolest? I want Blake and me to be just like them when we are elderly. So Blake, sorry, you can't start on that diet. I need you round and bowlfull-of-jellyish. For the kids.

• that Santa's wife is as merry as her spry espoused elf? I laughed when I saw her in spite of myself.
  
  
  that Santa has never heard of Webkins? (Maybe he should spend more time in the workshop.)
  
• that Santa's puppy's eyes can penetrate your soul to see just how naughty you really were? And I do mean the eyes of his actual puppy- see him on the mantle? *Shiver*
  

• that eleven-year-old boys refuse to participate in the annual Santa visit? Yep, this photo lacks my eldest. Why oh why must little boys turn eleven?