benedictions, part 2

Father Mantis has returned to us

and we are grateful. His last prayers administered on our screen doors having born much fruit before being swept off by monsoonal winds. Mantis prayers have clout.

For the past 3 days our devout protector has taken up communion yet again. Is it selfish to assume he's here to pray in our behalf? Cuz, you know, we could always use the prayers.



When it's back to school time, you just need extra prayers wherever you can get them. Especially when it's a new school and it's SIXTH-GRADE! Look at this boy, trying 11 out for size, getting ready for new adventures. He'll do fine. It's not him who needs the prayers, it's his mom, who remembers sixth-grade far too well.




Here's another boy that needs supplication. Or at least his teeth do. Or maybe again, his parents do. Pray, Mantis, pray for us to have the endurance to overcome night after night of complaining and whining about oral chores and to have the persistance to get teeth brushed... despite the tantrum. A tooth killed by neglect, and another awaiting a filling! Had this young Padawan been a first child, or an only child, this would never have been tolerated. But Blake and I are careworn and oppressed. Pray for us, pious bug, pray through the wind.

And while you are at it, pray for Blake's job. We would like for him to keep it.

Name that Toddler

Riddle me this: Which one of my girls is this sleeping beauty?

Extra Blessings

A praying mantis began solemn meditation on our sliding doors. For a day-and-a-half, yoga-like, he/she prayed without ceasing. I can't help but wonder what he prayed for. General things, maybe? like the oil shortage and relief from terrorism? The housing market?

Or are mantis prayers more specific? I would like to think he prayed that the poor family in this household would one day have grass in their backyard. And that the father of this family would replace the battery in the purple van so it won't be an eyesore in the driveway anymore. Maybe he asked for a ceasefire between the 4-year-old and 2-year-old residents of this house. Which in turn would mean more happiness for the mother and love and beauty all around. I'm sure mantis prayers take special priority in heaven. Thank you, Mr. Mantis, for the benediction.

Science at Work

I have a theory that needs testing. I must use the Scientific Method.

1. Define the question: Why does a newly-mopped floor attract spills?

2. Form hypothesis: I don't know. Maybe my children like to get back at me when I refuse them 2 fruit snacks a day? Are the spills revenge? Or could it be unseen phenomena dwelling in our home, ghostly capers of mischief, eeking out their immortal existence by tipping over glasses of Kool-aid? This is something I would like to know. Perhaps some kind of magnetic attraction exists in the cleaning chemicals themselves and this somehow promotes spillage?

3. Perform experiment: Mop and wait. I conducted this experiment Wednesday. At bedtime I found a cup upturned on the kitchen floor, milk slowly making it's way through the grout like little irrigation ditches. Thursday at dinner Holland knocked a bowl of minestrone off the kitchen table. A sticky wet mess near an empty popsicle stick showed up yesterday.

4. Analyze data: So we know Holland was the culprit with the soup spill, we'll chalk that up to having a toddler in the home. The milk and popsicle? Maybe leprechauns.

5. Publish results: Hence, this post.

6. Retest: Nah, too much tile to scrub. I'll conclude that it's just not worth it to mop. Ever.